WHEN I TURN FORTY

Is it really true that life begins at age forty?
On the eve of this turning, I woke to a story.
A streak of light danced on the windowsill,
Birds chirped a symphony, a morning thrill.

I blinked through the haze, to wake my eyes,
In the mirror, I greeted him with a big surprise!
“Who are you?” I whispered at the sight of me,
“Once a boy, a young man, what else to see?”

Now with sinewed arms, holding a family tight,
Gone are the days, once of a carefree delight.
Time rushed me past, I am still here, unbound,
Yet, I'm on the verge of something profound.
Forty loomed large, yet I sensed not a dread,
Wisdom whispered softly, “Live now instead.
Yesterday’s history, and tomorrow’s a dream,
Today’s a gift, therefore, let gratitude gleam".

I opened the window to a cool morning breeze,
Its sweetest embrace brought me to my knees.
Then a gentle face beamed from a crib nearby,
My one-year-old baby's pure smile, I passed by.

Just as I savored this tender moment to embrace,
Time’s tick-tock is telling me to quicken my pace.
The shower, the breakfast, the suit, and the keys,
A race against time, I handled it with much ease.

On my way was a melody as sweet as the dawn,
A song from my childhood, my innocence shone.
Clad in white, I sang it with a heart full of delight,
Tears flowed on my cheeks as I relived that sight.

Time rushes by, so quickly, yet memories stay,
Loved ones could fade, but never gone astray.
In the echoes of joy, in the warmth of the past,
There's beauty of living, because I hold on fast.

Age at forty is a tapestry where colors collide,
A lesson in strife, in victory, in joy, and in pride.
Simple moments, once lost, now shine bright,
A life I have been given, is a wondrous delight.

With eyes open wide, lost moments, I restore,
Life at forty's a challenge, and so much more.
I gather the fragments, the good and the wise,
In the grand fabric of time, the heart never lies.

LIFE BEGINS AT FORTY

They say life begins at 40. Tomorrow, October 13, marks the start of a much-anticipated new life so to speak, a chapter I fondly refer to as the climax. It's a bittersweet farewell to the memories of my youth, a time that now feels like a distant echo as I approach this milestone. At 40, I find myself neither young nor old, standing at a crossroads unsure of what lies ahead.

This morning, just a day before I turn forty, I looked at myself in the mirror, A sense of tranquility washed over me. The reflection staring back was a testament to the journey from infancy to adolescence, from carefree bachelorhood to the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. Stepping outside, I was greeted by the crisp morning air, which filled my senses with its invigorating aroma. The sight of my one-year-old baby filled me with overwhelming joy, a reminder of life's precious blessings that complete each early day.

However, amidst this peaceful moment, chaos ensued as I glanced at the wall clock and realized the pressing demands of the day: work, shower, breakfast, dressing, keys, car, all orchestrated in a hurried symphony.

En route, near a public school, the strains of a familiar religious melody drifted through the air. Puzzled, I traced its nostalgic familiarity back to my carefree days as a boy singing hymns in church. The song unearthed memories of a simpler, happier times, rejuvenating my spirit and evoking tears of both joy and longing as I found myself singing along while driving. In that moment, I grasped the essence of my life, the sum of precious memories stored deep within my soul, each one a treasure.

This newfound perspective is both unfamiliar and enlightening. I'm discovering a profound appreciation for the overlooked joys and simplicities of life that once escaped my notice. Could this be the essence of life at 40? Perhaps it's true what they say that life truly begins at this age, offering a preview of what lies ahead. It's a time for reflection, for assessing life's journey thus far, and for cherishing the beauty found within it.

    

Turning 40 is not just a milestone; it's a pivotal moment of introspection and gratitude, of embracing life's intricacies, and of finding beauty in its simplest pleasures.

BE THE SALT, LIGHT OF THE EARTH

We are all considered equal in the eyes of God. What then, do we have to boast about, our social status, material wealth, or physical appearance? Each individual, upon closer inspection, is merely a soul with a single lifespan. Why do discrepancies in lifestyles exist? Why do some live in opulence while others struggle? Why do some wield authority over others as if exploiting their disadvantaged positions?

Everyone has their role in life. Imagine the chaos if everyone sought to be rulers and none chose to be servants. In ancient Chinese philosophy, there was a concept known as the Rectification of Names, suggesting that maintaining societal order involves embracing our designated roles, much like the caste system in ancient India.

This idea aligns with the principle that "No Man Is an Island," recognizing our inherently social nature. We do not exist in isolation but in interconnected communities. Life is about reciprocity, there is purpose in everything, a reason for our existence. Just as man complements woman, grazing animals rely on grass for sustenance.

Let us, therefore, discover our purpose in life. Fulfillment is not just a promise for the afterlife but can be experienced in the present. Yet, taken to extremes, the principle of give and take can empower the selfish and harm others at the same time, as depicted by characters like Don Corleone in 'The Godfather.' Under the guise of benevolence, such individuals manipulate for personal gain, making it hard to refuse their offers, even if it means becoming complicit in wrongdoing.

The Bible teaches, "Give, and you shall receive," suggesting a universal law of reciprocity. Let us harness this principle not for selfish gain but for the collective welfare. True happiness lies in inner peace and the absence of enemies. We will be amazed how our compassion for others returns to us manifold.

Let us make a positive impact by embodying the biblical ideals of being the "salt" and "light" of the earth. Ultimately, our purpose is to glorify God, fulfilling the destiny of all creation.

SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD

Many of our ancestors grew up under strict discipline, a tradition passed down to my own childhood generation. I remember it so well, I had reddish marks on my arms and legs from my father's worn-out belt, while my mother used a strip of wood. These memories evoke cramping and screaming as I tried to escape or defend myself indignantly. Yet, my father insisted it was gentler than the horsewhipping they endured when they were kids.

Times have changed; such discipline would now be considered child abuse and reflects a shift introduced by Western psychoanalysts. Their new approach to child development and behavior has become a foundational principle embedded in the laws of many nations, shaping a more child-friendly society.

However, the effectiveness of this modern approach in molding better individuals is questioned. While kindness may foster kindness, there's concern about children becoming self-willed, spoiled, or naughty without firm boundaries. Can we instill proper conduct without extreme discipline? What happened to the disciplined, honest generations of the past, as our parents often remind us?

Last night, I found myself grappling with guilt as I reflected on an incident where I struck my 8-year-old child with my belt. I became enraged when she seemed dismissive and mocked me with her gestures, laughing off the initial smack as if it didn't faze her. In my anger, I lashed out harder, leaving marks on her legs, arms, and even her face with the leather belt. I shouted at her, insisting she never disrespect me like that again. Her sobs and cries echoed loudly, surprising me because she typically had a defiant streak and would argue back. In the past, I'd even hit her hard enough to cause bruises, fearing she might become a troublemaker in our family, a reputation she had with previous housemaids who complained about her behavior.

Contrary to our expectations, however, she has shown resilience. Despite the punishments I've inflicted, she seems to forgive and forget over time. Recently, we've noticed a positive change in her demeanor. Our new housemaids no longer report her misbehavior, and her attitude appears to be improving.

When I struck her up last night, it pierced my heart deeply. I felt devastated, how could I harm my own little girl in such a way? I had overreacted. She's just a child, yet I treated her harshly, even pointing fingers at her. Afterward, I lay in bed, grappling with regret, trembling with the weight of my actions. My wife entered, questioning why I had hit her again, especially when she had been behaving well lately.

In the early morning haze, I recalled how each day she kissed my cheek before leaving for school, her hair tickling my face. Her consistency in showing affection only added to my remorse. I asked my wife to bring our daughters to my bedside. Feeling sorrowful, I requested they give me a kiss. At first, my older daughter hesitated, expressing her reluctance, but true to her forgiving nature, she eventually softened.

I reassured her that my actions were meant to teach a lesson about respecting boundaries, especially when I'm feeling stressed or upset. She understood, and her face lit up with a smile. Both girls leaned in for a warm embrace, and I felt a sense of relief and connection with them. We stayed together for a while, exchanging kisses and affectionate words before they bid me goodnight and returned to their room.

I've learned important lessons from this experience. First, I shouldn't discipline my child harshly as if she were an adult. When I do resort to harsh measures, I need to explain why it was necessary and sincerely apologize for my actions. Moving forward, I believe in employing both types of discipline in moderation. Harsh discipline can foster obedience but may also lead to dependency and low self-esteem among children. On the other hand, lenient discipline can encourage independence, confidence, and assertiveness, but may also result in disobedience.

Ultimately, it's up to me to decide which attitudes I want to cultivate in my children. It's a delicate balance, and perhaps I need to exercise a little less of each extreme.

A CHILD'S PURITY OF HEART

After my wife left for the Middle East in search of better opportunities, I found myself shouldering both maternal and paternal responsibilities for our children. Yesterday, a Sunday, presented a unique challenge: it was my maid's day off, and our groceries were running low. I decided to take my eldest child with me to the grocery store while the younger ones stayed at their grandparents' house.

Managing our weekly expenses has become tighter since my wife's job search abroad, so I had to be more careful with our purchases. After a selective shopping trip, I returned home in the late afternoon, feeling weary but still attended to some tasks on my computer in the living room. As the evening approached, I heard the joyful sounds of my kids playing with their friends outside.

By six o'clock, it was almost dark when our maids returned home. Shortly after, amidst the noise of the door closing, my children rushed inside, full of energy. My eldest, a nine-year-old, approached me insisting that it was time to go to church. I gently explained that we had missed the last mass at our nearby church because they had played outside for so long.

my eldest child

Despite my explanations, my daughter, already teary-eyed, persisted in her plea. She reminded me that there was a later mass at another church in Talamban at 7:30 p.m., mentioning that her mother had emphasized the importance of attending mass every Sunday before she left. Her earnestness moved me deeply, and despite my initial reluctance, I eventually agreed.

We hurried to the San Isidro Labrador Parish Church in Talamban, a few miles away, arriving just in time for the evening service. And so, her insistence paid off.

Witnessing my daughter's commitment to her mother's wishes underscored her love and determination. It was a poignant reminder of the promises we make and strive to keep, especially when it comes to family.

In this moment, I realized the purity of intention in a child's heart contrasted sharply with the complexities of adulthood. My daughter's unwavering dedication to her mother's words served as a profound lesson to us all, highlighting the power of love and the importance of honoring commitments, even amidst life's challenges.