Many of our ancestors grew up under strict discipline, a practice passed down from one generation to the next. My own childhood was no different. I still remember the sting of my father’s worn-out belt and the sharp tap of my mother’s wooden strip. The marks on my arms and legs stayed for days, but what stayed longer were the feelings of fear, confusion, and sometimes anger. Back then, my father would say it was still gentler than what he went through as a child.

That was just how things were done.

But times have changed. What used to be called discipline is now often seen as abuse. Today, we know more about child development, and many parents try to raise children with patience, understanding, and communication instead of fear. Still, a question sometimes remains: are we raising better children this way, or are we becoming too soft?

That question stopped being abstract for me one night.

I came home tired and frustrated. My daughter was being defiant, refusing to listen. I tried to correct her, but she laughed. That laughter triggered something in me. I lost control. I grabbed a belt and struck her. More than once.

Her cries filled the house. And in that moment, I wasn’t proud of who I had become. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I was just angry. But afterward, when everything went quiet, reality hit me hard.

I had hurt my child.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about her face, her tears, and how she still forgave so easily even after being disciplined. She had been improving lately. She was still just a child learning her way through the world. And yet I had treated her like she needed to be broken into obedience.

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The next morning felt heavier than usual. My daughter still came to me before school and kissed my cheek like she always did. That simple act hurt more than anything. I asked my wife to bring the children to me.

I apologized to my eldest daughter. At first, she looked unsure. But then she slowly softened and hugged me. That hug broke something in me. My other daughter joined in too, and suddenly I was surrounded by love I didn’t feel I deserved.

That moment changed me.

I realized I had forgotten something important: she is still a child. Discipline is not about fear or punishment. It is about guidance. It should correct, but also teach. And when we fail, we should be able to say sorry.

Being a parent is not easy. Too much harshness can break trust. Too much softness can lead to chaos. The real challenge is finding balance, being firm, but still kind. Setting boundaries, but still showing love.

I can’t undo what I did that night. But I can choose to do better from now on.

Now I try to raise my children with more patience and understanding. I want them to know they are loved even when they make mistakes, and that discipline is meant to guide them, not hurt them.

Parenting is not about being perfect. It is about learning. It is about growing with your children, not just raising them. And sometimes, it starts with admitting when you were wrong.

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“Love does not erase mistakes, but it demands that we learn from them.”