WORKSTATION DIARY SERIES - My Life Reflection
I Rate Myself
By: Ulysses C. Ybiernas | July 4, 2012
Well, this morning, there were quite a lot of clients to attend to. I just came back from taking lunch and still has few minutes to say something to my friend, my handy dandy notebook.
To begin with, as of this moment, my thoughts often drift to my family. My children are growing up so quickly, and I reflect on the dreams and ambitions my wife and I once held. We envisioned a life where neither of us would need to work overseas. Yet, over the years, those dreams have eroded under the weight of necessity.
Still, through sheer persistence, I’ve managed to come this far. However, good fortune often feels elusive, slipping through my fingers no matter how hard I try. But while the candle is still burning, I have to take every opportunity and to act quickly before everything melts away.
However, getting older always comes with a price, it seems that I can no longer perform tasks with the same vigor and efficiency I had in my youth. Time, relentless and irreversible, places me in a situation where I am forced to accept my limitations, whether I like it or not. Yet, this is the life I know, my only way of earning a living. Even as I grapple with illness and recover from recent health scares, I cannot afford to rest.
Last week, I found myself in the emergency room, teetering on the brink of what felt like life and death. My skin turned blue, my toes followed, and a bout of severe diarrhea and stomach pain with high fever left me dehydrated from an amoebic infection. If not for my wife’s presence, ensuring I got to the hospital in time, I might not have survived. She just returned abroad for work, leaving me to continue this path alone.
Anyway, I have to proceed now with the program which I started since the beginning of this year as part of my New Year's Resolution, that is, to rate myself each day.
Based of on my current priorities, here are my self-assessment of my progress:
1. House Construction Project - after overcoming hurdles such as loans and contractor issues, the project is about 60% complete. There is still much to be done, but I’m steadily moving forward.
2. Managing Credit Card Spending - I’ve been trying to curb unnecessary spending, yet I haven’t been able to pay down the principal amount due. I’d rate my progress at 20%.
3. Focusing on Life Goals - at the moment, I’m struggling to define clear goals due to a lack of resources. For now, I rate this a mere 10%.
4. Resilience Against External Distractions - I’m still affected by what others say about me, especially behind my back. I’d rate my resilience at 30%.
5. Exploring Alternative Income Sources - I’ve always dreamed of starting a business, but a lack of resources and tools makes this impossible right now. My progress stands at 2%.
6. Practicing Patience - I aim to be patient with my kids and others, but I often fall short in moments that test my limits. I’d rate this effort at 40%.
7. Setting Time for Prayer and Meditation - though not as consistent as I’d like, I’ve managed to dedicate some spare moments to gratitude and prayer. My rating here is 30%.
8. To just dance and play with life - to truly enjoy life, I need to let go of negative thoughts and problems that try to overwhelm me. While I’ve made some progress, I’ve been inconsistent. My rating is 30%.
9. Maintaining Health - I've been driving my kids to school too early and still has enough time for myself, so I spent it jogging. Probably it helps, since despite I haven’t adhered anymore to my cardiologist’s prescribed daily dose of medication, I am feeling healthy. My rating is 60%.
10. Ending the Day with Gratitude -I’ve been practicing ending each day with gratitude simply for the thought that I have made it through the day and also giving thanks for the blessings, big or small. My rating here is 50%.
Overall Self-Evaluation - after calculating these efforts, my overall progress is about 33.2%. A failing grade, admittedly, but it’s a starting point. This reflection serves as both an acknowledgment of my struggles and a reminder that there’s room for improvement.
Life moves forward, and so must I. Despite the setbacks and imperfections, I’ll continue striving my dreams, not just for myself, but also for the family.
"There's more to life than just surviving...but...sometimes just surviving is all you get." - Charles De Lint
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