A Self-Assessment of Survival
by: Ulysses Ybiernas ♦ July 4, 2012
A personal reflection on life, health struggles, family responsibilities, and the quiet discipline of daily self-assessment while trying to remain steady through hardship and uncertainty.
This morning was busy at work. There were many clients to attend to, and I barely had time to breathe. I only just returned from lunch, and I am using these few quiet minutes to gather my thoughts and write in my notebook.
My mind keeps drifting back to my family. My children are growing up so quickly. My wife and I once dreamed of a simple life where neither of us would need to work abroad. But over time, those dreams slowly faded as survival took priority over idealism.
Still, I have managed to come this far through persistence and hard work. Yet good fortune often feels distant, as though it slips away just when I begin to reach for it. So while I still have strength, I remind myself to keep moving forward and take whatever opportunities come my way.
Getting older has not been easy. My energy is no longer what it used to be. Time has forced me to recognize my limitations. Even so, this is the life I know, and I continue to work, even while recovering from illness.
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Just last week, I was in the emergency room. I had been suffering from severe stomach pain, diarrhea, high fever, and dehydration caused by an amoebic infection. My body was weak, and I felt close to collapse. If my wife had not taken me to the hospital in time, I might not have survived. Now she is back overseas, and I am once again on my own.
Despite everything, I continue with my daily self-assessment, a practice I started at the beginning of the year as part of my New Year’s resolution.
Here is my current progress:
House Construction – 60%
The project continues despite loans and contractor-related challenges. It is not yet complete, but it is steadily progressing.
Credit Card Spending – 20%
I am trying to reduce unnecessary expenses, but most of my debt remains unresolved.
Life Goals – 10%
My direction is still unclear due to limited resources and ongoing responsibilities.
Not Being Affected by Others – 30%
I still find myself emotionally affected by the words and opinions of others.
Extra Income – 2%
I want to start a small business, but I currently lack the capital and stability to do so.
Patience – 40%
I try to remain patient with my children and with life itself, but I still struggle at times.
Prayer and Reflection – 30%
I occasionally find time for prayer and quiet reflection.
Enjoying Life – 30%
I try to rest and appreciate life, though worries often interfere.
Health – 60%
I jog when possible after sending my children to school. I do not always follow my medication strictly, but I manage to function.
Gratitude – 50%
I try to end each day with gratitude—for having survived another day.
Overall Progress – 33.2%
It is not a high score, but it reflects where I am honestly at this point in my life. It reminds me that I still have a long way to go.
Life continues to move forward, and I must move with it. No matter how difficult things become, I need to keep going, for myself and for my family.
“Even when life reduces me to numbers, struggles, and survival, I still choose to measure my days not by what I have lost, but by the strength it takes to keep moving forward, for myself and for the family I refuse to give up on.”
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