Sometimes, we become so engrossed in our own struggles that we lose sight of the broader human experience. In our moments of despair, we complain, question our circumstances, and even challenge God.
Just days before Christmas last year (2015), I found myself facing a particularly difficult time in the hospital. The pain in my stomach was relentless, nearly unbearable. For three days, I endured strong painkillers and a series of treatments. On the fifth day, the doctors decided it was time for surgery. They reassured me that the condition wasn’t terminal; the organ they planned to remove was useful but not essential, something I could live without.
As I lay on the operating table, one of the doctors asked, “Are you ready, Sir?” “Yes, doctor,” I replied, steeling myself for what was to come. With that, I saw a large syringe that struck me to a deep slumber.
When I awoke, I heard a loud voice calling my name: “Wake up, Sir Ulysses.” My eyes fluttered open to a large room bustling with patients and nurses. Tremors ran through my body, and the pain in my stomach surged back, a stark reminder of my reality.
But in those fleeting moments before waking, I had experienced something profound. I had walked through a beautiful garden with a fatherly figure, engaged in an intimate conversation that filled my soul with warmth. Just as I was about to sit on a bench in that serene place, the vision faded, and I found myself back in the stark, sterile environment of the hospital.
Later, as I lay in bed, a news segment on the TV caught my attention. It was about the war in Syria, featuring a man forced to take up arms. He stood amidst the ruins of his shattered apartment, having lost everything, including his family. Injured during a battle, he prayed to Allah for the “gift of death.”
His bravery struck me. Despite the suffering and atrocities surrounding him, he didn’t complain or lose hope. In the face of death, he sought the “gift of death,” while most of us cling desperately to the “gift of life.”
In that moment, I realized that my own suffering paled in comparison to his. Yet, amidst everything, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I was thankful to God for the gift of life, even in the midst of pain. This experience illuminated the strength of the human spirit, reminding me that even in our darkest times, we can find solace and gratitude.
