WHEN EMOTIONS RULE US
ARE WE RULED BY REASON OR EMOTION?
By: Ulysses C. Ybiernas | November 10, 2022
Explore how emotions influence actions, the role of reason, and the balance between feeling deeply and choosing wisely in moral decision-making.
Emotion As An Experience
Emotion is a central element of the human experience. Defined as a conscious mental reaction, such as anger, fear, joy, or sadness, emotion is subjectively felt as a strong inner experience, typically triggered by an external stimulus, directed toward a specific object or situation, and usually accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes. But emotion is not simply a feeling; it is a powerful energy that shapes our thoughts, decisions, and actions.
The Journey of Emotion
Every emotional experience starts with a stimulus, something we see, hear, experience, or remember. This could be an insult, a loss, a compliment, or even a perceived threat. The brain receives this input and processes it in areas such as the amygdala (responsible for emotional processing), which quickly assesses whether the stimulus is positive, neutral, or threatening.
At this point, the subjective experience begins. We might feel anger in response to unfair treatment, fear in response to danger, or joy in response to love or success. These emotions are often visceral, meaning we feel them in our body: a racing heart, clenched fists, a pit in the stomach.
This phase is largely automatic, a reflexive, emotional signal that something in the environment needs our attention.
Once the emotion is experienced, the next phase is cognitive evaluation. This is where the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s decision-making center, can intervene. We assess the emotion: Why am I feeling this? Is my reaction justified? What can I do with this feeling?
At this critical juncture, emotion transitions into intention and action. We may act on the emotion constructively (e.g., confronting a problem, offering forgiveness), or destructively (e.g., lashing out, withdrawing, or even committing a crime). Our moral compass starts to play a role here.
Emotion and Moral Implication
Emotions themselves are not inherently moral or immoral; they are natural responses. However, how we respond to them can be. We then judge in terms of our responses to them.
Moral Response: Responding with self-control, compassion, and responsibility. For example, feeling anger at injustice and working through proper channels to correct it.
Amoral Response: A neutral response, often passive or indifferent. This may not cause harm, but it doesn’t promote good either.
Immoral Response: Allowing emotions to dictate actions that harm others or violate ethical standards, like reacting to jealousy with violence, or to fear with hatred.
Wild Emotions
Unchecked emotions, especially when intense, can override rational thinking and lead to destructive behavior. This is where emotion becomes a moral hazard.
To respond wisely to emotion, we must develop emotional maturity, the ability to experience strong emotions without being controlled by them.
Key strategies include:
1. Pause and reflect
When an emotion arises, take a moment to name it and understand it. Ask yourself, "what is it that I am feeling, why I feel like this?" Regulate it. Don’t Suppress. Suppressing emotions leads to internal pressure and eventual breakdown. Instead, find healthy ways to express and process emotions like journaling, talking, exercising.
2. Engage Reason
Before acting on emotion, run it through a moral and rational filter. Consider what are the possible consequences? Is this action right? Will it help or harm?
3. Empathy and Perspective-Taking
Try to see the situation from other angles. Ask the question, "what triggers this to happen and why?" This reduces impulsive reactions and promotes compassion.
4. Seek Support
Talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can bring clarity and reduce emotional escalation.
Consequence of Unmanaged Emotions
Many immoral or criminal acts stem from unmanaged emotions, rage, envy, fear, humiliation. These emotions, if not processed constructively, can spiral into impulsive, harmful actions. This is particularly true when individuals feel powerless, threatened, or disrespected.
What to do
The mature path lies not in denying emotion but in mastering the space between feeling and action. It is in this space where freedom and responsibility reside.
Emotion as a powerful force, is one that can either uplift or destroy. We are not responsible for every feeling that arises within us, but we are responsible for what we do with them. By understanding the journey from stimulus to feeling, and from feeling to action, we gain power over our emotional lives.
When we respond to emotion with awareness, wisdom, and restraint, we live not as slaves to our impulses, but as moral agents, capable of turning even the fiercest feelings into fuel for good.
Interactive Exercises
Let me ask you something: Do you believe we, as human beings, are rational creatures?
Most of us would probably say yes. We like to think we make decisions based on logic, on careful thought, on moral values. But let’s pause for a moment, is that really the case?
Think about the last time you said something you regretted. Or acted impulsively. Or made a decision that, in hindsight, wasn’t very wise. Why did you do it? Chances are, it wasn’t reason leading the way. It was emotion.
Emotions are powerful, no doubt about that. But here's a key point, emotions, in themselves, are amoral. Let me repeat that, emotions are neither good nor bad. They’re like fire, they can warm your house or burn it down. So when you feel love, anger, fear, jealousy, or joy, those feelings aren’t automatically moral or immoral. They just exist. They rise in us naturally, sometimes without warning.
But here’s the question that matters, what do you do with those emotions? That’s where morality comes in.
Now, let’s try a quick mental exercise. I’ll name a feeling, and you think to yourself, is it moral, immoral, or amoral?
1. Compassion?
2. Envy?
3. Guilt?
4. Gratitude?
5. Anger?
What did you notice? Some emotions, like compassion or gratitude, tend to support moral behavior. These we often call moral emotions, they guide us toward kindness, justice, or reconciliation. Others, like envy or rage, are amoral, they’re not evil by themselves, but they can easily lead to destructive actions or immoral acts if we don’t handle them with care.
Emotion in action
Let’s take this into the real world. Why do most people commit crimes? Is it because they thought it through and logically concluded it was the best option? No, it’s often because of uncontrolled emotions: anger, desperation, jealousy.
Why do people quit jobs, leave relationships, or say hurtful things? Again, it’s usually not logic. It’s emotion, “I’m tired,” “I’m hurt,” “I’m angry.” And yet, many times afterward, they realize: “I shouldn’t have done that.”
So… how do we deal with emotions? We don’t ignore or suppress them. That’s unhealthy and unrealistic. Instead, we apply right reason.
Here’s a helpful way to think about it: Emotions are like children, you can’t let them drive the car, but you also can’t stuff them in the trunk. We listen to our emotions. We recognize them. But we don’t let them make our decisions for us.
Our moral compass
What is right reason? It’s reason shaped by conscience, values, wisdom, and truth. It’s not cold logic, it’s reason guided by what is good and just.
Let’s take an example:
You feel anger toward someone who hurt you. Emotion says: “Get even.” But right reason asks: “Will revenge really make things better?” It nudges you to consider forgiveness, or at least justice over retaliation. The goal isn’t to stop feeling. The goal is to act wisely despite what you feel.
Final Reflection
Who do you want to be?
Here’s something to think about:
The wise, the mature, the saintly, are they people who feel nothing? No.They feel deeply, but they don’t let emotions rule their actions.They feel hurt, but still choose to forgive. They feel fear, but still act with courage. They feel anger, but still pursue peace.
So here’s our challenge as human beings, that is, to feel deeply… but act rightly, to honor our emotions… but follow our reason, to live not by impulse… but by principle.
Now think of Romeo, in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet story. He is young, passionate, driven by love and grief. After Juliet appears dead, Romeo immediately takes his own life. Emotion ruled him. Reason was absent. What might have happened if Romeo paused and sought the truth first? I ask you a question, was Romeo's love admirable or reckless?
And then, Aristotle, the philosopher, taught us that virtue lies in the “golden mean”, a balance between excess and deficiency. Such as, courage is the balance between cowardice (too little fear) and recklessness (too much boldness). He believed that emotions must be disciplined by reason to live a good life.
What emotion do you often struggle to balance, anger, fear, desire? What would Aristotle advise you to do?
From the Christian point of view, Jesus, in pain and humiliation, unjustly crucified, still said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Here we see someone feeling intense suffering and betrayal, yet choosing mercy.
Holiness is not being emotionless, it’s having the power to choose love even when everything in you wants to hate.
This is how we grow, not just as individuals, but as a society. A humane world is not one without emotion. It’s one where emotion is guided by virtue, disciplined by reason, and rooted in love.
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor E. Frankl, psychiatrist, a Holocaust survivor
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